Progress Photo?

I woke up this morning feeling smaller.  So I thought that I would take a new photo of my stomach to compare to my "before" picture.  No boobs in this one, but I think those are smaller now too!  Anyway, here's a progress photo blog entry for you!  Please let me know if you see any progress.

December 6, 2012

January 18, 2013

and my unrealistic goal for myself!  ;-)

Anyway, I think that there is a difference!  I haven't measured myself yet, but based on this photo I think that I've lost an inch or two around the middle.  I love NOT weighing myself, instead just going on how my clothes feel (a little looser, but still not loose) and how I look in pictures.

I plan to have another episode recap VERY soon.  Sorry it's taken so long, but life is just crazy busy right now.

ELATPBS - 2013 Edition!

So, here it goes.  2013 is well on its way.  Ten days in.  And I still look like my lovely before picture. 

However, I have had a breakthrough with my quest to Eat Like A Thin Person Buffy Style (ELATPBS).  The last few days I have been pretty much forced to eat out daily, as part of my new job.

For whatever reason, that has motivated me to make healthier decisions the rest of the day as well as helped me to tune in to my hunger levels.

For the most part, every meal that I've eaten this week has had leftover food at the end.  This feels very Buffy to me, since I never once saw her just pig out.  She ate when hungry, and stopped when full.  This is a hard concept for a food addict (such as myself) to grasp.

No time for food addiction!
 Not when there are vampires around.

I'm still working on it.  I've been trying to master this concept for over a decade now.  Why is it so hard to eat only when hungry, and to stop when full?

I think that there are a couple of reasons for this.

One is that most of us live by a schedule, and must eat when it's convenient.  So if one had an 8 to 5 job, it makes since to eat breakfast before work, lunch during the lunch hour, and dinner some time in the evening.  Hungry or not, because you KNOW that your next chance to eat won't be until several hours later.  So ideally, your body will adapt to this schedule and you will end up actually being hungry at these specified times.  But that is not always the case.

Another is that food has become more than just fuel for many of us.  Eating is also an activity.  Something to fill time with.  Something that is as enjoyable a hobby as anything else.  Cooking and baking are great hobbies!  Eating may not be such a great thing to have on your "hobby" list.  But it really has become a fun pastime for many of us, including me.  I enjoy eating.  Worse, I enjoy OVEReating.

You enjoy... overeating??!!  Huh?

Anyway, my point is that I'm fat but I'm sick of dieting, because clearly dieting is not the solution, seeing as I've been dieting since I was a kid and still have ended up as an overweight adult.  I don't believe in dieting anymore.  So I've hopped off of the diet bandwagon, and have jumped on the "Eat when hungry.  Stop when full.  Choose healthy foods when possible, and use your head to figure out what 'healthy' means for you.  Oh yeah, also exercise a lot" train.  That train makes more sense to me.

It will possibly be a long and hard road to lose this weight, but I'm optimistic that keeping it off won't be as big of a chore (and apparent impossibility) this time.  I'm ready to be naturally thin.

I'll be back soon with an episode recap for "The Harvest" and another ELATPBS update.  Thanks for reading!!!

I hate Luke.

Welcome to the Hellmouth!!!

Time now for my very first episode recap!  I will probably work more on the format of these, but I thought that I would blog about my favorite lines, what I love about the episode, what annoys me about the episode, and of course, any and all of Buffy's Bites.

My favorite lines: 

"Maybe it's something." "Maybe it's some THING." When we still think that Darla is the innocent little girly victim!  What a great character she turns out to be.

"Can I have you?" *blank stare* "Can I HELP you?" Xander is so cute.  Except for his hair, OMG grease bomb!  That is very 90's.

"I kinda had a problem with the math."
"Which part?"
"The math." Xander and Willow cuteness.

"All the kids here feel free to call me Bob."
"Bob--"
"But they don't."

"The new kid, seems kind of weird to me.  I mean, what kind of name is Buffy?"
"Hey, Aphrodisiac!" LMAO every time.

"We both go to school... Very suave... Very not pathetic.  Oh HEY, you forgot your... stake."

Xander's big "What?" after overhearing about Buffy being a slayer!

"Gee, can you vague that up for me?"

"I don't mean to interupt your downward mobility..." and pretty much every other line that Cordelia has in this episode.  Seriously, they are all golden.

"First of all, I'm a vampire slayer.  Second of all, I'm retired."  Yeah, right, Buffy!  You can't retire from your destiny!!!

"Will there be boys there?"
"No Mom, it's a nun club."

"Truth is, I thought you'd be taller.  Or bigger muscles and all that." Ooooh, we don't know yet that he's a vampire!!!  How exciting.

"Seize the moment, cuz tomorrow you might be dead."

"Wanna dance?"
"With you?"
"Well, uh... yeah."
"Well, uh... no."

"Excuse me, I have to call everyone I have ever met... right now."

What I love about this episode:

• The very first scene, when we find out that the bad guy is the GIRL... what?  Bad guys can't be girls.
• Principle Flutie.  Yes, I end up loving Snyder, but Flutie is just kind of a hoot and reminds me of some real life principals that I had.
• Vamp nail polish, James Spader, Frappuccino
• Pretty much everything that Cordelia says is genius, hilarious, or both.
• OMG Willow in this nerdy look is great.  We never see her like that again, she becomes more trendy right after this episode.
• The library is such a cool set.
• That gigantic "VAMPYR" book that is never seen again.
• how important Jesse seems to Xander and Willow, like they've been a trio of besties for years
• that creepy moment when the hot blonde that Jesse is talking up turns around and OMG it's DARLA!

What annoys me about this episode:

• How little Giles knows about vampires.  Really?  Buffy has to tell him if the kid will rise?  She knows more than the watcher?  Not buying it.
• I will never say this again, because it never happens again, but SMG has a couple of bad acting moments in this episode.  "Why am I still talking to you?" with Giles seems badly delivered to me.  So does "Something about the mouth of hell... I really didn't like him."
• I hate that Harmony isn't one of Cordelia's minions yet.
• Stuff that never gets mentioned again, or concepts that they stopped after the first couple of episodes: Xander skating, Willow's nerdy jumper style, vampires wearing clothing from the year they died, JESSE, etc. 
• I don't really like the vampire Luke.  No real reason.  
• It annoys me that the minion vampires are never seen in their "human" faces.  I understand it's a cost thing, but it kind of conflicts, because supposedly the vampires have to be angry to get vamp faced, so are the minions always angry?
• Giles gets into Buffy's personal space in public a couple of times, which seems creepy to me, seeing as he's the school librarian and she's 16 (or 15?  Is she supposed to be 15 or 16 now?  Hmmm.)

Giles in Buffy's personal bubble

Buffy's Bites:

• Buffy eats yogurt with Jesse, Xander, and Willow outside the school
• Buffy drinks a cola at The Bronze and eats some cherries that were in it!  So it's probably Cherry Coke.  

my "before" picture

I'm kicking Eat Like a Thin Person Buffy Style back into high gear.  I thought that documenting my starting off point would be a good idea.

This is what my body looks like!  I'm a size 18 (16 in some brands), weigh a little under 200 pounds, and have size 36D breasts.

Here's my goal:

Ha!  I don't actually think that my body can look like SMG's.  But I will find a happy and healthy medium.  :-)

Stay tuned for the first episode review!!!

...and I'm back.

There are fun ways to be more like Buffy and not-so-fun ways.

Here are the ways in which I am like Buffy:

1)  I am a college student.

2)  I am very busy, often with things that I feel obligated to do.

3)  I love my family, and am very protective of them.

4)  My mother died way too soon, and quite unexpectedly.

5)  I'm pretty witty and sometimes am accidentally funny.

6)  I'm strong.

7)  I'm beautiful.

8)  I feel the need to act strong in front of others, even when I am really weak inside and just want to cry.  It's easier for me to be emotional when I'm alone.

As you can see,  I share some of the Slayer's qualities and life situations.  Not all of them are ways that I wish I were like her (especially number 4, duh), but that's how it is.

#4 happened in the last few months, and is why I've been away for so long.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm back!  And wow, my followers quadrupled in my absense!!!  So YAY!!!

:-)

I'm stoked to be back to this blog, as it is a fun project for me.  Hopefully it will help to distract me from some of the stress that has consumed my life.  Post-mother-loss is a terrible time, especially when you are as close to your mom as me and mine were. 

My emotional eating returned with a vengeance when I lost Mom.  I gained 40 or so pounds.  Yes, I'm back to around 200 pounds and am wearing size 18 jeans.  So I'm forced to deal with the stress of hating my body size on top of everything else.

But, being back to the blog, now I'm back to ELATPBS (Eat Like A Thin Person Buffy-Style) and am working on losing the 40 pounds gained plus more.

Mostly I'm done with the scale, and will be focusing on measurements, how my body looks in pictures, and how it feels in clothes. 

My plan is to ELATPBS and to get my butt in the gym 6 days a week.

And to be gentle with myself.  My mom's unexpected death is killing me.  But she wouldn't want that.  She would want me to be happy and healthy.  So I will try.

Coming soon:  Commentary on an episode!!!  I don't know if I'm going to start from the beginning of the entire series or if I will start at the beginning of whatever season I feel like watching... but I will decide soon and come back here to review an episode, plus keep track of all of Buffy's bites and exercise. 

Buffy: Everybody wants to help. I don't even know if I'm... here. I don't know what's going on. Never done this. (pauses) That's just an amazingly dumb thing to say. Obviously I've never done this before.

ELATPBS - still going strong! (mostly...)

I found this video on YouTube during one of my study breaks...  ;-)  Thought I'd share it on here, because it is very "I *heart* Buffy" which is one of the main themes of my little blog.

Also, I feel like I owe you guys, in case there is actually anyone who is out there reading my blog.  It's been over a month since my last entry!

Lots has been happening in my life, and I've been very busy with school.  I have been loving my classes this semester, and have also been loving my workouts.

For anyone new to the blog, ELATPBS stands for Eat Like A Thin Person Buffy Style, which is how I'm trying to eat to lose some of the fat that has me in size 14 jeans.  It's basically just intuitive eating, which means eating only for hunger, and trying to make mostly healthy choices, but really just listening to my cravings... so if I want Redvines and pretzels, I will eat Redvines and pretzels instead of first worrying about how "fat" I am for wanting such a crazy snack. 

It all actually evens out usually.  I am not tracking my food every day, but when I do track it (on My Fitness Pal) my calories are anywhere from 1200 to 2000, usually somewhere in the middle.

Eating healthy?  Hasn't always been happening.  Eating like a thin person?  Usually, I'm doing okay with it.  I've been working pretty hard on listening to my hunger signals, and I'm getting pretty good at it.  I have been trying to focus on eating mostly healthy options (whole grains, beans, veggies, fruits, healthy fats, etc.) with a bit of "fun" foods here and there, all the while listening to my hunger signals and only eating when I'm truly hungry.

There are some days of the month when that just doesn't seem possible (PMS is a bitch) but I'm usually doing pretty well with it.

I have not been weighing myself, so I have no clue what I weigh.  It's very liberating, actually.

I did try on a pair of really tight jeans (muffin top, definately not appropriate for wearing in public yet) around January 13th and will be trying on the same pair of jeans on February 13th, and hopefully they will fit better. 

My exercise routine has been pretty great.  I've yet to begin kickboxing, but that is mostly because I have no extra money right now!  I have started to take spin classes at the University, where students get to take classes for free, and I try to go at least twice a week.  The other days I stick with my stationary bike and aerobics DVDs at home. 

So...  that's about it.  That's where I'm at!  I hope that you all are doing well. 

What have you done today that is just for you?

"Let me answer that question with a head-butt." ~Buffy, season 4

Out of all the characters on Buffy, my actual body type is most like:

...Tara's.  Buffy is very petite, and Tara is more average in height.  Buffy has a small frame, and Tara has a more medium frame.  Buffy is skinny, probably a size 0 or 2, and Tara is probably an 8.

 Am I bothered by the fact that I will most likely never have a body like Buffy's, no matter how hard I try?

 Not if I can get one like Tara's, which I'm pretty sure I can.  :-)  Tara has an attainable figure for my  body type, and that's really the look that I'm striving for. 

 She's beautiful and thin, but not super-skinny.  She has an amazing body!  Let's face it:  Every single female character in Buffy has an amazing body.  But they are all such different shapes and sizes!  I'm most like Tara when I'm at my fittest.  And I'm totally happy with that.

"You thought Dracula was sexy?"
~Tara, Season 5